waiting..

sleepless nights....
infinite utubing..
for songs he used to sing...
cuddling on to an unwashed shirt...
with his smell...
memories..
flitting past...
of wading in calm sees
at the crack of dawn
of gazing at the stars
on a broken bridge,
its funny
how nostalgia sometimes distorts memories
erases the bitter ends
like the poop on the beach
or the fights
or the mistrust
and fuels yearning..

waiting...
for what?
reunion?
acceptance from the world?
a happily ever after?
in a world that judges
and matches ppl
like matching cards
on education, occupation, race, religion and social status..
hmm..
is there ever
a happily forever?

waiting..
if only the world was truely flat
where each one is "judged" for their ownselves
where labeling wasnt so important
where there were no highs and lows
where our humaneness was all we had

waiting....
waiting...
waiting...
for my castle of cards to fall..
with only memories worth a life time
to live with..
while starring at the ceiling
lying wide awake
listening to the snoring
of a man i can't love
but one with all the right labels...