Lessons from Afridi

aah.. confession time.. Despite being forced to mourn Sri Lanka's crumbling luck at y'days T20 finals, I must confess, I was both proud and slightly blushed to the ears to watch Shahid Afridi become the man of the match. Its not just because i've nursed a 12 year crush on him that began on on an idle day - when i was 12 and staring at the TV screen starry eyed and awe struck as the 16 year odd Shahid 'boomed-boomed' the fastest 100 in ODI history in his first appearance. I think its a bouncy bouncy soft, straight brown hair and the fact that he was 16 (just 4 years elder to me and his hard hitting style to become the Youngest player in history to make an ODI century at just 16 years and 217 days with his 37 ball ton against Sri Lanka. It included 11 sixes and 6 fours)

A true wild card!!... i could spot one when I saw one.. and connect with it..from then on, as I watched him get out for ducks, get dropped off and get labelled as a "soda pop" player, a one-innings wonder... I wondered why the world cherished average consistant duds as opposed to those with a magic of themselves, but aint "consistant".

I felt a special affinity towards this fumbling player (not withstanding my hot sparkly crush on him) cos he could not fit into the demands of delivering everyday.. and he has had the most spikey career/ performance chart ever.. A lot like me.. cannot deliver on the daily drudge.. misunderstood. thought utterly inconsistant..

But then as I watched him yesterday (sans the crush, after it got shattered after he married his counsin.. jeeze and i somehow ended up with a another-North western frontier types man [aah i think its the afridi effect working on me at a subsonciouse level]) I was feeling uplifted, and motivated with many life's truths hitting my head like falling bricks.

Here's wat I learnt from the 'boom-boom' man
1) It is fine to be a wild card- untamable, uncoachable with ur own style. It is only those with their unique flamboyance who would b remembered
2) Even if you have the highest strike rate in cricketing history/ you have a gift and quickness that others dont have, it doesn't guarantee that u rise to the top fast. It would take a long painstaking time, until u learn to accept 1) u are not like the rest of the daily drugery consistant fellows who delivers and avg performance each day 2) even if u fail the experience u learnt goes in strengthening u for the final game that matters, that one brilliant performance that only u can do which the avg, consistant mongers cannot reach..
3) That wild cards are mostly misunderstood and dismissed.. which badly affects ur confidence. Afridi kept on saying in an interview
"Is it fair to say that you didn’t achieve your potential in the early part of your career the way you are doing now?
The diference is that at the start if I didn’t perform in one or two games, then I’d be dropped. So I didn’t get confidence from that. But now I’m playing cricket full of energy and focus. My last two years’ performances are much better than before and I don’t want to go back. The captain and coach have really given me a lot of confidence. They’ve said, “Don’t worry too much if you’re out; dont think too much about it; just go and play your game”. And that’s what our players want. Confidence from the captain and coach" (http://www.spincricket.com/2009/06/12/shahid-afridi-speaks/) The trick is not to feel disheartened about the fact that u cannot perform the same way everyday. The world might c u as erratic and sporadic, but the point is its the bouncing ball that can reach the highest point not a ball in horizontal linear motion forward.

4) But wildcards also need people to believe in them. If no one believes in them, their talent just whithers away. And when ur given a chance to perform you must perform and show that u can do the best. So that even on ur off days ur peaks will be remembered. For example, after former coach Bob Woolmer gave Afridi a second lease of life in Test cricket after two and a half years (after being exluded for his soda- pop performances) recognising Afridi’s chaotic potential to turn even a Test in half an hour’s brutal hitting, His faith has been repaid: it was Afridi’s 58 off 34 balls on the fourth day – the second fastest 50 in Test history – that helped turn the last game of the India series at Bangalore in 2005: the next day, he ripped out the India middle-order (Tendulkar, Ganguly, Laxman) to clinch the win and a series draw. Afridi followed that up with 92 off 85 balls against England at Faisalabad in the winter and two consecutive tons against India in January. The ton in Faisalabad – 156 off 128 balls – included 116 runs in boundaries. ((http://www.spincricket.com/2009/06/12/shahid-afridi-speaks/)

But finally, and most importantly, I learnt that "it is the staying power that counts." Pakistan had seen many young cricketers come and go. Eight or nine changes captaincy changes, bickering within the team, a suspicious death of a coach and the terrorist attack on Sri Lankan players had shattered Pakistani cricket. In this chaos, many young players, who were rough gems missed a chance to become polished into unleashing their full potential. They just wilted away after a few ODIs. But, despite the turbulent times, the personal backlashes, Afridi stayed on.

And that is the hardest thing for a hot-headed, wild card to do. To keep ur cool and bat on while being pushed around. " I’ve played under eight or nine captains; a few of the captains didn’t like me. Because of all the ins and outs, all the liking and disliking, they made the atmosphere shit." says Afridi- (its funny how my work situation in the past 4 years has been exactly the same)

And the most bitter truth to swollow specially for people trapped in bitter work places. "A few of the selectors didn’t like me. The main thing in Pakistan is liking and disliking, rather than anything to do with form or talent." aaah.... isn;t that a sad human flaw that impedes most of us? But the only way to ensure that u save ur self for that one glorious moment in ur life when all that bitterness, back stabbing, humiliation, cornering and misunderstanding just melts away and becomes a source of energy that helps u shine like no other in what ur passionate about doing is stay on. And ensure that the candle doesn't go cold in those dark, gloomy nights.

shit got work tmrw but aint sleeping yet.. does anyone hav a solution for insomnia seriously? PLS PLS PLS aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

insoniacish

insomnia
is a
sombre
yet
dreamy
state
worse than ecstasy
with purple circles
going round and round the back of ur eye sockets
bouncing off ur cranium
and thumping on ur cerebellum
brains oozing out through ur ears
like purple gooi mulch
while u dream of concurring the world
climbing mount Everest
and bungy jumping off it
hoping the pain will go away
the numbness would thaw
and sanity would sprout again
through the cracks of ur skull
BUT..
nah.. ur not aleep.. ur not awake
ur just feeling insomniacish
stuck between
the pain of ur existence and the surreality of ur insatiable dreams

does utube drive u insane?

Can ipods, utube, twittering and facebook drive us insane?? With so much technology tweaking our emotions directly on one hand and taking away emotional shock absorbers like actually meeting up with friends or talking to friends one on one, are they actually making us manic depressed?

Well iv been utubing to glory, listening to all the sad drivel on it. and right now i feel quite spaced out, dazes with two black holes engulfing my eyes.

aaah then their is facebook that makes ur jealousy metre go up a few rungs, every time u check out the latest employment deal/ grad school or happy holiday that a person u knew who actually did "far worse than u at some point" had got.. its funny how we sometimes cover our insecurities by checking out profiles of ppl who weknow r having worse lives than ours.. aaah and talking of insecurity, the spine tingling jitters that creep up everytime u c a person's profile pic change to a well decked married pic. aah then u secretly check out the wedding album and gloat at how the makeup stands out or the guys hair looks too stiff or how his pot belly is still visible underneath a mail version of a girdle.

or and also checking up the relationship statuses of our exes and feeling a mirthy satisfaction that bubbles up when ppl u hate breakup..
and all the self important status msges abt how inspired u r while u sit on ur bum doing jack robbins, sweet nothing..
amazing...
and only if ppl looked as beautiful in real life as their photoshoped profile pics look.. wont we all b a cute cuddly bunch..

oh and the latest craze.. twitter.. im abt to get onto it.. checking out interesting stuff ppl are doing with their lives while trying to stay awake at ur boring mundane office desk, trying to look busy

i mean y have to all turned into a bunch of morones.... gosh i think i need to stop utubing b4 i slash my wrists or something..

iv withdrawn from friends.. i hate my job and is falling in love with a pakistani pop singer (aah wats with me an afghans, Pakistanis and kashmiris.. its funny ) aah talking of which just remembered i am already in love.. so atif aslam will hav to wait...

but listen to him.. he is magically melancholic

waiting..

sleepless nights....
infinite utubing..
for songs he used to sing...
cuddling on to an unwashed shirt...
with his smell...
memories..
flitting past...
of wading in calm sees
at the crack of dawn
of gazing at the stars
on a broken bridge,
its funny
how nostalgia sometimes distorts memories
erases the bitter ends
like the poop on the beach
or the fights
or the mistrust
and fuels yearning..

waiting...
for what?
reunion?
acceptance from the world?
a happily ever after?
in a world that judges
and matches ppl
like matching cards
on education, occupation, race, religion and social status..
hmm..
is there ever
a happily forever?

waiting..
if only the world was truely flat
where each one is "judged" for their ownselves
where labeling wasnt so important
where there were no highs and lows
where our humaneness was all we had

waiting....
waiting...
waiting...
for my castle of cards to fall..
with only memories worth a life time
to live with..
while starring at the ceiling
lying wide awake
listening to the snoring
of a man i can't love
but one with all the right labels...

Things to do before I turn 30

In taking a page from countless sitcoms, and leaving myself what I think is a decent amount of time (not too much, not too little), I am making one of those lists. (Plus I have trouble sleeping at night :) ) But more than anything, I am putting it out here since 1) I'd like to hear your thoughts on this 2) Its kind of a binding public commitment 3) I'm a big fan of Scrubs.

Timewise, I have about one year and three months, December 13, 2009. The items are not in any particular order or preference. Enough already, lets get to the list

1) Climb a 14er (i.e. 14000 feet / 4200m high mountain ... no cheating to the top, it has to be a decent amount of climbing )
2) Swim 1km (well, one of my weak spots, and this is the only reason I'm not putting down a whole triathlon, maybe I can reassess....)
3) Do a week-long backpacking trip, oh yes, in the middle of nowhere.
4) Learn another language (Spanish?)
5) Do a bicycle-trip, 4-5 days along Pacific Coast Highway, maybe San Francisco to LA (Some of this stuff I've given more thought to / have the plan in my head than others :) , this is one of them)
6) Visit Yosemite (maybe this will be the long backpacking trip, but Yosemite backpacking permits runout pretty fast every year :/ )
7) Visit Grand Canyon

oh, a couple of formal things
8) Advance to PhD candidacy (Its rote anyway, since I have to advance before next summer, but if feels nice putting it here)
9) Get my driving license (I'm sure you guys will appreciate this)

back to better things,
10) Learn to play a musical instrument (Very naive, but so am I, lets see... I had a harmonica for 3 years but haven't done anything with it, maybe I should pick something else)
11) Learn dancing (If you thought I was holding anything back, forget it..)
12) Go outdoor rock-climbing (This is pretty easy, think I should switch it to multiple rope switch kind of climb? :) )
13) Go sky-diving / paragliding ... (Funny, but this is probably the easiest of the lot actually, it just takes some money and a free weekend)

I think 13 is a lucky number, so this makes a good rounded list right now.

So, what do you think? Any advice / more suggestions / sarcasm / somethings are too easy? (I actually think they are all reasonable) .. :) ... everything is welcome! Bring it on.

PS - Betting on all / individual items is also an open option, email me direct to negotiate ;)

Bike Car

I finally got around to lugging my bike up here. Which meant I had to take it on the Caltrain from San Jose to San Francisco, this is where the bike car comes in, a special train car for bikes.
There was an old guy in the bike car, in addition to couple of other people. Now the term 'old' is relative, he was only 54. Quite talkative. He had been biking up in the Santa Cruz mountains during the whole weekend. Now if you don't know about Santa Cruz mountains, let me tell assure you we're not talking gentle rolling hills here, there are several good 2000 feet climbs there. On narrow roads and steep grade its definitely far from an easy ride. Its a ride I'm still not fit for, and he is twice my age. And if you're by yourself, things can get pretty exciting.... he apparently had to sleep by the wayside one night. Even in the summer, those mountains get pretty darn cold.

He talked about being bought up in a farm, with 14 hour work days. He talked about his current work at a hospital, which is supposed to be a bureaucratic nightmare, and makes him yearn for this sort of escape. He talked about his kids, one who is in college and the other one who is starting next year, and how he will only have only several thousand dollars left after paying their tution fee.

But, he says it all goes back to his start, the farm days, to which he credits the endurance and attributes the desire to be out there in the 'boonies'. He said that you can't deny your birth call, otherwise you'd die. inside. This he meant to be what you grew up with, what you like to do, the call to be 'out there'.

I thought it was worth writing down as it was, anything I'd append would be simply redundant.

Summer Nights

No, this is not about romance. Sorry if I got your hopes up.

They say you can't change horses mid race, but then that only applies if you consider life to be a race. I won't deny that it had been, in my book, up to a certain point, but its long in to the slumber now. Where and when the steam ran out, we will leave for another day. Its
years. But now we're here, with the horses.

So if you're not racing, if you're not even riding your horse, say if you're just walking your horse, can you still change it?

You know, its a good horse, you can count its teeth. Been around for awhile, tested and true, will get you places, will get you your living. You don't want to be the fool who left the gift horse run
away.

But the ride, it does get melancholy. Maybe I'm not a one horse person. Oh, this is not about marriage or relationships either, although since we were not going to talk about romance anyway, it should be apparent. Right? Maybe.

You know its a sign of trouble when you take your notepad out and start doodling instead of paying attention to the road ahead. Focus kid!

The Road Ahead, now that's pretty close to what we're getting at. If you don't see the road ahead, do you just go read someone elses book and superimpose some ideals?

You shouldn't end all your sentences with question marks, some has to be answers. I'd say slightly more than 50% has to be answers. Then it'll match up with that divine rule of being slightly better than 50/50. But then if I had faith in any sort of a divine rule, would this question mark still be here?

Can you teach an old horse new tricks? or is it getting to the point of intolerable cliche abuse. I'd say the latter. So I'll stop.

And oh, what's with summer nights? well, you know, it is us who chose and will keep on choosing the winter.